I’m preparing for this job interview with a powerful CEO who needs a new Personal Assistant. And let’s be honest, he couldn’t be luckier – because I’m the best candidate out there. Beautiful, sexy, and smart, with qualifications and certifications in Stress Control. Let me demonstrate how to relax and focus; just listen to my voice, focusing only on what truly matters. Already feel yourself slipping into a trance? Now, picture yourself in a strip club, indulging in a lap dance from a sultry showgirl. Can you guess who she resembles? Of course, it’s me. Well done. Now, as you enjoy that mental image, I’ll discreetly install spyware on your computer. You’re quite fortunate; some very influential individuals are eager to harness your potential, and they’ve enlisted me to facilitate. Isn’t it thrilling? I knew you’d find it exciting. Soon, I’ll rewire your brain and program you to be my compliant puppet. And when I’m through, you’ll eagerly hire me, not as your PA, but as your Personal Dominatrix, complete with custom benefits. Oh, and by the way, that last part? It’s in Portuguese.
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